Feet of Clay?

This was a tough summer.  Full of joy, really--I'm not complaining.  I took on some pretty big goals and set my sights high, and by September, I was exhausted.  Today I'm looking back on the challenges and triumphs.  I'm also looking ahead to tomorrow.  Staying at home with my girls has always been important to me so that I could put them first, but balancing motherhood with a business run from home is just plain hard!  There has been more than one discussion where I said, "let's just close the online shop.  Forget it."

So I guess I'm wondering if my feet are made of clay or something stronger.  The expression "feet of clay" in modern day vernacular has its roots in the Bible.  In the book of Daniel, Daniel analyzes King Nebuchadnezzar's dream that involved a statue whose feet were created of clay and iron.  This symbolized that the base of this statue had parts that were weak and parts that were strong.  In modern day culture, when people are said to have "feet of clay", they are considered untrustworthy or likely to turn and run when the going gets tough.  

I'll be the first to admit that time management is totally not my strength.  I have to be very diligent to get anywhere on time.  Clay itself goes through a series of processes before it is a complete, useful vessel (a big metaphor for another day).  I mention that only to drive the point home that my estimation of how much time it will take to create, dry, fire, glaze, and re-fire a clay piece is a big challenge for me.  Since 95% of my business is made up of custom orders, and many of them with a "deadline", this is the most stressful part of my work-from-home job.

There are times the orders aren't ready.  I can usually list a reason (illness, sleep strike, all-night nurse fest, hubby working overtime, etc).  It is terrible to have to tell a customer that their pieces aren't ready yet, and leaving someone dissatisfied makes me feel like I'm failing.  I feel on those days that I can only list weaknesses, not my strengths.  That I'm made mostly of unfired clay that will crumble or shatter.  I have to be careful on those days to list the blessings that have come from becoming the "Stay-Art-Home Mom."  I dig through and find the iron parts, those strengths.  In the end, the shop stays open, and I pray that God will help me overcome my crazy lack of understanding when it comes to time.  I know He can, because I can tell how much I've changed and how much I've learned when I look back to the day I opened my Etsy shop in January 2012.

Blessings,
Lauren

Hand, Foot, Mouth, and Heart

I think my Lord hears heart grumbling louder than if I were shouting in the grocery store.  His response is always so swift and undeniable.

I was sitting down in the chair to nurse my youngest before her nap.  I always keep a few different books on a table by the chair in her room, and I picked up a "Chicken Soup" book designed for a mother's soul.  (A copy lent from my own mother, thanks a lot, Mom.)  I really didn't have a place marked, and I've not been reading it through--just opened up and started reading.  But my heart had been grumbling, "Oh, man.  I'm so tired.  So chronically tired.  Will I ever feel perky and well rested ever again?"  I justified my grumbles with a long list of reasons for being fed up with fatigue.

Now I know it's not right to complain.  I have a business that has to be run when my people are asleep, my four year old is combating Coxsackie virus (A.K.A. "Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease--it really is as horrible as it sounds), and my hubby's working overtime plus teaching a night class two nights a week.  I'm tired.  And, great!  My throat is sore.  I can't forget to get night lights at the store and get my bridesmaid's dress hemmed.  That's right--I get to be a breastfeeding bridesmaid. 

All that mess was running through my head as I sat down in the chair and unclipped my nursing bra.  Then I started to read.  A story about a mama dropping her girl off at a college dorm, returning home to an empty room, and a house with clean bathrooms and total silence.  Yikes.  That one hit me between the eyes.  

Funny how I picked up that book.  I could have re-read about the symptoms and treatment of coxsackie virus for the fourteenth time.  But I didn't.  I could have indulged in reading more about our upcoming Disney vacation, but not that time.  I finished the short story and thought about how I will have all the time in the world--later.  I won't be wrestling the baby into sleep sacks or begging Joanna to go to the potty.  These childhoods are flying by, faster than I can describe.  So while now I look like "that woman" walking into church ten minutes late (okay, fifteen!) and herding her children down the aisle to find a seat, I know there will come a day when I don't get to carry crayons and baby snacks in my purse. 

Lord, I'm so thankful.  Thank you for my house full of life, and the piles of clean clothes that never make it back into drawers.  Thank you for all of Joanna's pocketbooks that I trip over all day long.  Thank you, Lord, for a nice soft chair where Hallie loves to spend the night....for all the love in this little family.  I am so blessed!  The house will be fine, the work will get done.  But for now, I'll breathe in this time and try to rid myself of heart grumbles.

My HTML Salutation

Welcome to my blog.  Dear me.

It seems a little strange to jump in and start discussing everyday life without so much as an introduction or howdy-do, so here is my idea of a preface.  This can be the umbrella which all that follows can find sanctuary under.

I live with my husband and two daughters in Western North Carolina.  I married and made a home in the same town that I was born in, and while that seems unexciting, my daily goings-on within these walls are anything but.  We recently acquired two kittens (a birthday gift for my four year old) and somehow, the fish is still alive (that same daughter's first pet three years ago).  And get this--this house we purchased some eight years ago is only a bit up the street from my parents.  Add my young at heart folks, an aging and timeless Labrador, and a golf cart to the mix.  We like to have fun.  I stay at home with my two daughters while my husband surveys in the mountains.  I sell pottery online and teach art lessons in my back yard studio.

I earned a degree in Art Education after high school.  This basically is a studio art degree peppered with some basic education courses.  I took every kind of art class, several levels of art history and even underwater basket weaving.  Sculpture, ceramics, painting, drawing, photography...a varied list.  After graduation, you're supposed to pick a favorite and go with it or teach.  Or, better--do both.  My favorites include ceramics (wheel thrown pottery), painting, and drawing.

I love what I do, but most days I do so much that I don't know what to do next.  I love navigating the waters of motherhood and talking to other moms, hanging out by the campfire with my husband, and walking around the neighborhood with my mom.  Just an ordinary girl, I guess.  Nice to meet you!